Yesterday I started it off with quite the Roseanne ramble, didn’t I?

Tonight I’ll talk about the very first episode, “Life and Stuff”.

I had to look it up to get the correct name, but Sal Barone played DJ for the pilot episode. It wasn’t until the second episode, “We’re In The Money”, that Michael Fisherman joined the cast as DJ.

I like this episode. Okay, I like all of the episodes. But you get introduced to the family, and find out they’re just an average family like anyone else.

Just like any child, DJ would rather have pie for breakfast.

DJ: Dad do you know what would be good for breakfast?
Dan: What?
DJ: Pie.
*Dan looks at Roseanne.*
Roseanne: Tell him no, Dan.

Darlene waits until the last minute to give Roseanne a note from her teacher, requesting a meeting between the two.

Roseanne: Why do you always wait ’til the last minute to give me these things?!
Darlene: I’m sorry! What do you want me to do, throw myself off a bridge?!
Roseanne: Yeah, and take your brother and sister with you!

Becky is told to get off of the phone. When she does and leaves the room, the phone rings again.

Roseanne: Oh hi, I looked in the mirror and I’m getting boobs! She can’t talk right now!

Dan and Roseanne argue over toast crumbs in the butter because it annoys Dan.

Dan: Well you get mad when someone leaves peanut butter in the jelly!
Roseanne: Well that’s just sick!

So she cuts the butter in half and gives Dan the half without the butter in it. That settles that problem.

I’m not sure how to spell the name of Darlene’s history teacher, so I’ll try my best. But the meeting was about Darlene barking in class. Which Darlene later reveals that she does it to keep from falling asleep. However, Ms. Crane thought there may have been a problem inside the home. Roseanne, of course, didn’t agree.

Ms. Crane: Your daughter barks!
Roseanne: Our whole family barks!

Later Roseanne and Dan gets in a fight over who does more work around the house.

I forget what Dan said it was he’s done. It may have been making dinner. Roseanne’s reply was “1970 what?!”.

Dan: You want me to make dinner, fine I’ll make dinner!
Roseanne:  Oh but honey, you just made dinner 15 years ago!
*Dan grabs a big can from the shelf.*
Roseanne: You can’t serve a big can of corn!

The fight ends when Darlene cuts herself with the scissors by accident. Becky over reacts & Roseanne tells her to shut up. They clean and bandage Darlene, and take her mind off of it. Dan tries to have her think of a flower, but it doesn’t work. So Roseanne reminds her of a monster truck show they once saw. Then they’re finally done.

That’s one of the reasons why I love the show. It’s so based on real life. Between money, teachers, and the kids constantly fighting, it’s something anyone can relate to.
Now, the quotes may not be exact, but I did them the best I could from memory. I just watched the episode yesterday. That’s about it for now though. I hope everyone has a good night. Settle down, see if it’s on TV or pop in a DVD, & re-live your favorite Roseanne moments!