“The bear goes…if everything else stays.”

I’m still alive lol!

I watched Roseanne; seasons 1 & 2 the other day. Just a few episodes, not all of ‘em. I actually watched “Canoga Time” last night on You Tube. I love that one.

I’m doing the quotes from memory, so please keep that in mind. Thanks.

DJ: If I shoot you, your eyes will freeze and you will turn into a zombie!
Roseanne: That’s kind of like your Dad when he watches TV.
Dan: I heard that. Blast her,
DJ. *Holds up her arm.* Good shot! Honey, where do you want this?
Roseanne: Oh God, even when I’m dead you’re asking me where stuff goes!

Darlene: You guys are major dweebs.
Roseanne: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about us!

Darlene: Don’t give Mom your report card.
Becky: Alright, Darlene, what’d ya flunk?

Dan: The bear goes…if everything else stays.

Roseanne: Are you black mailin’ me?
DJ: Aunt Jackie, you got a tattoo?
Jackie: Well…maybe.
DJ: Can I see it?
Roseanne: You’re too young.
Dan: Can I see it?
Roseanne: You’re too old.

Darlene: Shoot!
Becky: What’s wrong?
Darlene: I can’t match the red ink. Ms. Crane probably draws the blood out of stray cats to make her ink.

*After Darlene caught DJ listening from the hallway.*
Darlene: You’re dead, DJ!
Becky: Great, now Mom is gonna come up here!
Darlene: No kidding.

Becky: I’m giving Mom my report card.
Darlene: No, you can’t!
Becky: Hey, I’m not getting in trouble just for a month of your stinkin’ allowance!
Darlene: Did I say one month? I meant five!
Becky: Deal!

DJ: Why’d you lock your door?
Darlene: Well I guess I’m so used to locking my locker at school, I just automatically did it.
Roseanne: What you think, DJ?
DJ: Lies. All lies.

Darlene: Mother? Get a life.

I love when Dan was singing as Elvis, & Roseanne & Jackie pretended to fight over his scarf lol. Or when Dad was singing while fixing the clock, & Roseanne caught him lol. Of course, Darlene was caught in the end – Roseanne & Dan knew she changed her grades. She almost got grounded for 3 weeks, but Roseanne cut it down to 2.

I wonder if Darlene actually gave Becky 5 months worth of allowance? What do you all think? I’m thinking probably not. I mean, it IS Darlene lol.

I loved the “fight” at the end between Dan & Roseanne. “Let’s go to bed”. And of course, the neighbors asking how much they wanted for their coffee table [which was thrown outside during the fight] was classic!

All in all, this is one of my favorite episodes. Well, that’s about it for now. Take care, everyone!